Buford’s Letter to the Editor

Dear Editor,

I think the wellbein’ of any upright person is made from the sweat of the brow an' the time to enjoy life to boot. Look at me. I work hard at Sam’s warehouse from 6 in the mornin’, then play checkers with Jethro after work, follow' by'a watermelon seed spittin' contest for a pack of gum with Billy-Bob, then play the ocarina to my sweetheart Lilly, follow' by suppin' with ma an' pa, then go on this ol' hand-me-down ‘puter to scratch my head an' think of somethin' to do with it, then so tuckered out I go to bed an' sleep it all off. Y'all do the same, I reckon. Excep' play the ocarina to my sweetheart Lilly, acourse.

Then lately, I get to thinkin’ bout politics. These politicians, they promise alot, an’ make ya feel like ya rootin’ for a football team in the playoffs, but I know government ain’t a sport an' it sure ain't a legal business so the money for all these ideas would have to be comin’ from outa the wallets of folks like me an' my neighbors. Then I get steamin’.

Now there’s talk they want to take care bout folks’ health. I didn’t see that care after a storm came in an’ blowed granny’s house down like the big bad wolf. They can put a few men on the moon with the help of some of granny’s hard earned wages but won't help her with some wood and a few men to fix an ol’ house. Somethin' strangely unbalanced about politicians.

What does granny get instead? After church, gets to watch well paid politicians on Sunday morning TV at Martha’s trailer sassing each other with polite impoliteness an' some lookin’ to granny like they havin’ sissy fits.

I think I’d rather be free an' die young than to have Washington politicians take more of my life's labor in cash an’ manage my life at 'no cost' till the day I die. I don’t like their deal. They all made a mess of everything else they manage, anyway.

So, horsefeathers. I ain't their huckleberry.

Sincerely,
Buford